Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Messy Process of Progress

I asked my good gal pal Misha to come hang out with me in blogland today.  So glad I did.  

Read this, and you'll see why I like having Misha a real-life, flesh and blood friend! (And not just because she always comes bearing gifts!)  Here's Misha:

It's all about decision making.  Life.  It's becoming more and more evident to me.  Decisions.  Hard ones, easy ones, complicated ones, necessary ones, you name it.  

The other day, a friend of mine was over and she was talking about the changes in her house after the death of her grandmother.  See, they lived in the same house but on separate sides.  She was able to pass through to her grandma's side on her way to her parent's house.  Yeah, they all lived right there with each other.  In a perfect world, that would be my living arrangement too.  Family unity, is one of the keys to a happy life and longevity.  Of this, I am a firm believer.  Anyway, she and her family are in the process of moving grandma's stuff out, cleaning the rooms, finding which items they want to keep and which they don't mind giving away or selling.  "Our house is such a wreck, it doesn't look like we're making any progress!"  I smiled.  She had just given me my blog post.  HAH.

Please, don't tell me I'm the only one who has made serious decisions in an effort to move their family forward (well, my husband and I). It's almost like "cleaning up".  You sift through all your options, categorize them, weigh the pros and cons, sometimes you let them sit there a while, while you munch on your lower lip and poke it with your toe.  But eventually, that moment comes when it (those options or choices) becomes either: a keeper or a tosser.  But in the mean time, everything seems like such a mess!  Recently, our family had to make one of the toughest decisions to date.  I cried, and cried and wept the night through, but I knew it had to be done.  It was time. The situation we were leaving wasn't horrible, we were not being mistreated, in fact, we were loved, but our time there was done.  For our family, the path had moved a little to the right, taking us away...and we needed to stay on course.

That's the thing about progress.  It's perpetual.  It's a forward motion, albeit slow, that can not be stopped.  So, either go with it or be dragged along kicking and screaming.  Usually, the kicking and screaming would indicate poor decisions are being made.   But even if you're making the right choices, sometimes things can get messy.  People don't understand, they take it personal, they don't agree...stuff like that.  Relationships are either ruined, or not quite ruined but changed just enough to make it uncomfortable to be in close proximity :(   Not everyone is moving along the same path, what is best for one family may not be what is best for your family.  And, do I have to say it?  Family, FIRST.  At all costs, at the cost of frowns and judgmental stares, at the cost of relationships...the progress, the choices, the outcome of your family -- it rests on your shoulders.  Not everyone will agree, but that's ok.  
Progress is a process, and it's messy.  No doubt about it.

But if it involves the well-being of my children, I can handle the messes.  It's worth it to me.

Misha shares these and other wonderful insights at Mommy Hobbies.
Go check her out and give her a Follow for me, won't you?



  1. I can totally relate and it is worth it to me, too. Great post!

  2. wow, wisdom from the mouths of young mothers-love it!

  3. Nothing is more important than the well-being of our children and immediate family. 
    And by the way, I LOVE that photo.


  4. Jocelyn ChristensenThursday, January 19, 2012

    Spot on!